Dude gone crazy

Subway Seven - My Work My Challenge My Vice

2008-01-22T20:16:00.000-08:00

If you see me troubled, I'm not crazy. If you see me intoxicated, i'm not ill, just trying to cope. You can ask me how I am but please dont' tell me to run. You don't have to state the obvious because I know I'm trapped, a prisoner of war, into deep with negative emotions. I'm an anxious vigilante whose heart goes boom boom boom whenever i hear their heavy breathing or foot steps. I close my eyes and try to sleep, desperately trying to let go but I hear their satanic words and feel their rage. They're in my head. I try to climb out of this hole but keep falling deeper. They're in my skin. They put me in suspense, keeping me honest. I can't seem to face the fire so I drink more than I should and think more than I must and how i disappoint myself. But no need to worry because with friends like jack daniel and bailey at my side, how can i not be ok.

Subway Seven - My Work. My Drug. My Addiction - 1

2008-01-22T20:03:00.000-08:00

My Work My Drug My Addiction. I've got to have it. It don't matter how bad it is for the health. It Gives me the rush that i need to feel good about myself but i know i'm only killing myself. The lack of sleep, the lack of food, driving myself to an early death. People see my at large, immune to the exhaustion but if they can only see the thoughts that run through my head. I try to right the wrong but i know no better but to go back to the habit. In my work do I seek refuge. My Work, my addiction, it's the only thing that makes sense. My Work, My Drug my solace. Give it to me one last time and I promise to stop.

My stay by the Numbers

2007-11-07T04:33:00.000-08:00

November 7, 40 days after arriving back from Manila. I've drank at least 40 red bulls to match each day. Jet Lag no longer. 10189 days old. Newport has been my home for 387 days.
Been working for 8 years but feels like 11 years if I include overtime.
Weight is stabilized at 158lbs
Been to church 4 times.
Been to the Gym 20 times since I got here.
Number of alochol cocktail drinks - 12
Number of Friends - TBD.
I bought 2 books - Working with you is killing me and 1 minute Manager.
Number of songs in IPOD - 736
How many people were appreciative of my efforts since I got here - 2

Jet Lag Chronicles #3

2007-10-04T03:55:00.000-07:00

It's been a week since i got here and i have to say that things have been a whole lot better for me. I would say that I'm less homesick which was something i'd never thought would happen but I'm still a little crazy as always. It's funny when i tell people that I'm homesick, they would ask if i'm missing a particular person and they sound very disappointed when i tell them "no".

I've been taking my over the counter sleeping pills just to get some sleep and I can tell you that never underestimate these sleeping pills. I slept for 15 hrs last saturday night to sunday afternoon and it was probably due to doubling the dosage. I felt that taking 1 sleeping pill a night wasn't getting the job done, after that incident i will never do it again. The last thing i want to happen is sleep for 24 hrs straight. On the other hand I have to say that this sleeping pills are great, they make you drowsy in a span of 30 mins and *boom* you're out. I'm going to have to take some home the next time i fly back to Manila to prevent those jet lag.

During this past week, i told myself that I need a job that won't drive me crazy, i need people that won't drive me crazy and it was great to have asked the questions i needed to ask people. Just too many questions going through my head and it was nice to get answers. Don't get me wrong it may not be answers that I wanted to hear but they're answers good enough to keep my sanity.

I've been going to the gym alot lately as well, 5 times last week which is an all time high for me, my goal is to gain back the muscle mass i loss back home. I've been taking nutrilite double x vitamins and drinking a lot of red bull and i think that is the reason why my urine has been very very yellowish. With my appetite missing in action, gaining back those loss lbs, will be a challenge. I've actually cut done my food consumption by 50% but alcohol consumption is up 50%. Hey, whatever you need to get you through the day. So, to cut to the chase, i'm going to track my weight gain progress through this blog. I'm currently 157lbs, target weight for next week is 158.5lbs.

Before i end this post, the one thing that bothered me the past week are people's comment on how young i looked. I didn't want it to be the reason good work opportunities are not given to me. Even for Manila standards, people are very surprised to find out that I'm a manager, they think i'm a newly rolled in senior developer. This is all strange to me especially when I feel like such an old soul. So, i'm thinking of shaving my head off (as mentioned in my previous blog entry), to add three years extra. We'll see how that goes. People say that shaving your head off, is to mark a new beginning or change or maybe it's just saying you're simply crazy. We'll find out soon enough.

Jet Lag Chronicles - #2

2007-10-03T04:32:00.000-07:00

I Wake up in the middle of the night with a sense of disorientation, i take a look around my surroundings and I'm feeling tired and bored with myself. I take a look at the virtual universe knocking on the doors of floating souls living their lives. I need to hear voices, is there anyone out there to listen. I find myself taking a hit to keep me going and alive. And as I sit here getting older by the minute, i can't help to think that all this maybe an illusion to what is real.

What was meant to be a 10 day journey is still ongoing. All i wanted was to find my way home instead I ended up at another place nowhere. I've not changed but i know i'm not the same. I can't let this stop me from staying hungry to succeed and though i'm starving to make it through the day brightly I fear that I'm missing the fire in my belly. Where is that mystery train? please take me back to where I once was, the way I've always wanted it and bounce me back from this haze.

Jet Lag Chronicles

2007-10-03T00:27:00.001-07:00

I've decided I'm going to change the title of my blog posts to jet lag chronicles. It's another day and my body has yet to adjust to the eastern timezone. I'm very concern that the rigors of having to adjust to the Hong Kong Time and then eastern time in a span of 2 weeks is confusing my body clock more than ever. If I'm still not able to sleep well by the end of the week, i may have to get some over the counter sleeping pills to help me snooze. Either way, i find it very interesting waking up at this time of the day. The night is peaceful and very solemn so i might as well enjoy it.

The weather is beginning to get cold as well. My face is beginning to peel from the coolness of the weather which is great because i don't have to go to the dermatologist and pay to get peeling services. Speaking of the physical, i've been going to the gym for the past couple of days and last monday i weighed in at 156lbs. I had lost a total of 8 lbs since september 19th. If you look at my serendipity picture i looked very healthy but not right now. All those sweating and late nights in Manila plus no ice cream contributed to the weight loss. Jet Li even went as far as to say that my eyes look sick. Well, i hope i get my appetite back and sleep better. I have no doubt in my mind that i'm going to gain all the weight back in a couple of weeks during which time, I will be getting a new haircut clipper #4 because hair cut here in the U.S. is very expensive and there's no guarantee that you'll be getting a great hair cut. A good hair cut here would cost something around 40USD and that includes a little tsansing from your hair stylist, in english that would be some free sampling if you know what I mean. So, I'm not really keen on paying that much to get that kind of service.

Finally work yesterday was very stressful, I find it very rude and disturbing to have to hear from other people about your fate in the project. Why do i always have to be the last to know. This thing always happen and it's very sucky! But, again I decided to take some initiative and I'm happy that I was able to get to the bottom of the reality of what is actually happening.

&%*($

2007-10-02T01:23:00.000-07:00

There is nothing more sad in the world than to be sad but not know why you're sad. I smile but deep inside I'm not happy. Its frustrating to have to be awake in the middle of the night and have to search to speak with someone to fill in that gap. Why is it that after achieving so much success, you still can't help to see what you don't have. I guess it's human nature.

Soliloquy : My 10 day journey

2007-09-30T19:59:00.000-07:00

I Went to a home where life is full
I Went to a town where past was like the present only better
I went to a city where the future is fast approaching
I went to a place that has been burnt down and folks let down

I met people who made me smile and lighted me up
I met people who exceeded my expectations
I met people who were jaded
I met people who made me realized what life is all about

It was tiring physically but of great comfort to be around your support group
It was great to have the familiarity of my surroundings
It was awful to have to feed off negative energy
It was time well spent with memories that will last a life time

Someday I'll make my way home again
But for now I have my life to live here in America
I gotta a dream to feed
I gotta soul to fill
I gotta find hope for others
I gotta lead this life for others who only have this in drawing

Why I love the williams sisters!

2007-09-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

During Wimbledon 2007, they asked venus williams if she is going to win wimbledon. Her response was that if she didn't say herself, she probably have low self esteem.

Having said that, I hate it when people undermine my abilities. yes I look like a high school kid but this lad is full of hope and passion which is more than most people will ever have. Eternal determination unmatched. If only they knew, while the "old and wise" make continuing mistakes the "young and naive kid" is taking down notes learning from their wrong judgements. It's a great thing that i have high confidence to brush off negative comments from my very own seniors. Where's the spirit guys? Where is the trust?

My Philosophy:- To be the best, you have to believe that you are the best. In cases where in you are not at your best, you still have to believe that your best will turn up.

Serendipity

2007-09-10T19:44:00.001-07:00

This was where the movie was set.

US Open

2007-09-01T06:30:00.000-07:00

US OPEN was awesome, I was in amazed with the surroundings and it is one of the best NY experience ever. Here are some pix:

Celebrity Sighting Tyra Banks

2007-08-26T20:18:00.000-07:00

I was at battery park when I saw a lot of tourist crowding over something which I wasn't quite sure so being so curious, I went up to the area and guess what, it was Tyra, some sort of shooting going own.

NYC Yellow Cab

2007-08-26T20:08:00.000-07:00

I've been here for almost a year now but I have never ridden a NY Yellow Cab, until yesterday because we were so tired of walking. We walked all the way from East Village, up until 11th Street and Bleecker. We were looking to see some memorable landmark from TV Show and Sex and the city bake shop magnolia bakery is at this intersection corner. But when we got there, there was such a long line of tourists. Being in a cab for the first time was very exciting just as when you do anything for the first time - (when was the last time you did something for the first time?) Here's some pix, I'm very sweaty, it was a sunny humid day in NY. Off to Union Square 14th st.

But we did

however get a picture of the apartment building they use for the TV series Friends. Here it is:-

Hugsy Learning the hard way

2007-08-26T19:56:00.001-07:00

Here's hugsy, giving me some attitude:-

Here's hugsy being punished for having attitude:-

Here's hugsy getting the point that you don't mess with the boss:-

But at the end of the day, we're cool:-

NY Car Show

2007-07-14T06:53:00.000-07:00

I used to watch all these car show on TV and finally, i get to go to one - how cool is that???. The NY Car show was last 04/11. The pictures are a little blurry but good enough :).

Habitual courtesy

2007-06-17T17:25:00.000-07:00

I wanna say it but i can't
I want you to say it but not really
No one should have to state the obvious
The pink elephant in the room

Everything i see is path to memory lane
To a time when i waited in vain
The good ol days that were nothing short than ordinary
but not that great to hold onto

I'm never one to see what I don't have
however this is an exception I have to make
Time has led me to keep things real
And this I owe to Change

Street Fest at christopher st.

2007-05-20T07:31:00.000-07:00

Impulse buy - 10004

2007-05-10T19:38:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of Spiderman the movie. I had to buy this aviator shades which I stopped wearing after 3 weeks. 50USD a week.

100 Days After

2007-04-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

A hundred days after and things are no different. I'm just like a beat up truck waiting to see if today is the day of the final drive. My smile is like a frown and I wonder if blood still runs through my veins. I have mastered the art of smirking and have lost all interest in the living. I'm stressed out most of the time, abused and worse of all have allowed myself to be fooled by the puppet masters' pride, arrogance and lies. Their gain is my pain and their riches is my suffering. I've entered the door to my slow death with no nearest exit or rescue mission.

Spring Time in NY

2007-04-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

Isn't Central Park just amazing?. I could just lie in the sun and never leave. It's so beautiful that I wish we had something like this back home. You know a place is perfect when it kills you to know that this time next year you may no longer be in the midst of such calm great atmosphere.

AT the other end of calm nature, is the rough busy streets of China Town. The food in China town is no exception, that is the place to eat your sorrows out. Well, China Town is not usually this crowded, but because it was foundation day according to our waiter, it was crowded.

Project Runway in Little Italy

2007-04-27T18:58:00.000-07:00

Project Runway Contest, Diana Eng in Little Italy. I actually forgot her name and I had to ask her what it was, Good thing she was nice, I didnt know what was going through my head when I approached her then. It must be the lack of sleep. She ordered 2 cheese pizzas and had some parmesan cheese on top of it.

Looking at the 2 pictures, this and the one with Lea, i look so stressed out with lack of sleep... This is in comparison with the picture with tricia. This sucks! Thanks to my lovely job for giving me this stressed look. It's a good thing i bought aviator shades.

Star Struck

2007-04-20T22:43:00.000-07:00

Look who I bumped into while walking down the streets of NY.

today...

2007-02-11T15:41:00.000-08:00

Sa isip, sa salita, sa kilos at sa gawa, ng i iwan.

In Mind, in words, movements and action, i'm left behind.

- Caballero

Meeting the Placidos'

2007-02-11T12:04:00.000-08:00

Finally i meet Tricia, and see her since 2003 in NY - coolest place to be. Can't believe it's been 4 years. and Yes she's not snuffalafagous - you know big bird's friend, who they think is imginary because he only appears when there is no one around.

Tricia - you still owe me brunch. Don't think today's meal was brunch.

These are the days - Baba O' Riley

2007-02-03T21:20:00.000-08:00

These days have been real tough, I'm having to fight for my meals - olympic style. I feel like I'm pushing this big rock up this steep hill, overwhelmed by how heavy it is. People call out my name by I can't even take time to acknowledge them because any lapse of concentration and the rock will come crashing down on me.

But here's the thing, I don't know where am I going with the rock. Well maybe I do, but I'm not sure if it's all worth it. Right now, everything is a blur. When I do and if I do get the rock to the top, who will be there to see me cross the finish line granted there is one.

Life is full of uncertainties and that's a fact but the sad thing is, I have made the rock my life. I don't have to carry the weight, I can stop if I choose to but that is not the rule played in my youthful wasteland.

MOMA - Doug Aitken Sleepwalkers

2007-02-03T21:00:00.000-08:00

Today, I went to watch this art exhibit by Doug Aitken in the freezing cold at Museum of Modern Art 53rd St in b/w 5th and 6th Ave .... Brrrr.... Couldn't interpret it well though. But it was kind of interesting. In the end the 9 degrees farenheit got the better of me and left before finishing the exhibit. The cool thing about this exhibit was that it was projected outside the building and tells the story of 5 individuals in NY.

One other thing that I learned tonight though was that I have bad eyes. They are not as sharp as they used to be. Oscar gave me his glasses and there was a difference.

People come, people go.

2007-02-03T20:49:00.000-08:00

Yes, they do come and go. 1 less nice person in Newport. How many nice people left in Newport? - secret.

Kendra, please take your proteins and sneakers. Bring philly cheesesteaks when you come visit us!

Oscar - picture is blurry.

Book of Love - Cool Song

2007-02-03T20:22:00.000-08:00

Hey you all, take time to listen to this song - it calms me down and it reminds me what life is all about.

http://hype.non-standard.net/track/139683

Team Building? or Team Eating Contest?

2007-02-02T21:29:00.000-08:00

This was last January before I left for Newport. Thanks Guys for the thoughtful gift! Kind words at its best. :) I wish our team building could be more that just eating quickly... try to get to know the person you sit next to in the room. Maybe next time.

Soliloquy - F.S.

2006-12-30T05:34:00.000-08:00

My frustration continues. They accuse and judge and are never satisfied. Its deja vu day in and day out, the same song over and over again getting to my nerves.
They say they know but they have no idea. They assume things will get better but how can it when all we are, are based on lies, the foundation of our situation to begin with.
What is our level of tolerance for such behavior? and why do we even tolerate these things to begin with?

-- Really Frustrated and asking to be sedated.

Meeting a Celebrity

2006-12-30T05:15:00.000-08:00

Where are all the celebrities? Well I met one at a xmas party. Again my eyes are closed. Need to get better with camera lights.

L.A. Walk of Fame

2006-12-21T23:07:00.000-08:00

Today is probably one of the best days in the U.S. for me, its a shame things are coming to an end. Day started out with me going to L.A. kodak theatre and then doing a tour of beverly hills houses of celebrities and eating at hooters. Later in the night got a chance to meet george bush, in my Uncle's office xmas party. Check out some of my pictures :).

Aww... tomorrow i go home.....

Familiar face

2006-12-20T11:30:00.000-08:00

This looks like an office mate i had once... maybe too easy to guess.

Why are my Eyes are always Closed?

2006-12-20T11:17:00.000-08:00

Where are all the hot girls? - In hooters

2006-12-20T11:14:00.000-08:00

Hi Anna. Take care.

Project Runway!

2006-12-20T10:46:00.000-08:00

Here are pictures from Parsons school of design and the subway which they always come out from.

2006 Birthday

2006-12-20T10:22:00.000-08:00

I had the best meal in china town for my birthday and went to rockefeller center to see the xmas tree. Thanks Erwin and Oscar for my laptop bag and for taking me out. The day started out real bad, i was dizzy - i think from the starvation and also still from smelling my fart but it couldn't have gone any better.

Thanks as well to those who greeted me, a day in advance and more power to those on the day itself. To those who didn't greet me, no xmas presents for you!. YOu have to give if you want to receive. :)

I love NY - Macy's Parade

2006-12-20T10:04:00.000-08:00

Here are some pix from Macy's parade. It was cold and raining, i went to take cover but still managed to view the floats. - November 23rd 2006!

Mind and body - The toilet saga

2006-12-20T09:43:00.000-08:00

They say that if you put your mind to it, the rest will follow. Well, not when you are sick. I was as sick as a dog and I had dysentery big time. I was hungry and drained and on the verge of fainting from smelling my awful fart smell. I wanted to eat but my body was rejecting it so I smelled my fart the entire day. I finished 3 toilet paper rolls in a span of 1 week. I wished it would have ended right there.

Soliloquy - story of my life.

2006-12-20T09:32:00.000-08:00

When I was back in Manila I always, well most of the time ate alone, I would leave the office at around 1140am get lunch and eat at my desk. However, not the case here in the U.S. , I always had lunch with my co-workers. It led me to thinking why I ate alone back home. Was it because nobody liked me? people were intimidated by me? or they didn't like the food that i ate? Then as I realised that it was most likely because I left people behind, i didn't invite them out. Which led me to look back that I left people behind because I was always being left behind and I didn't like being left behind. (Ng iiwan ako para hindi ako ma iwanan) - the story of my life, always being left behind.

Just thinking out loud.

Eulogy to the Cauliflower

2006-03-31T19:50:00.000-08:00

(Written by a person who i don't quiet get ;))

You of white crunch,
and fibrous texture.
Who grace my lunch,
unending, unceasing.

Ground meat, shreds of carrots,
sautéed onions, minced garlic.
Whose flavor enhances,
never diminishes.

Faithful meals partaken,
daily and twofold of months.
Variations undertaken,
interests stirred on occasion.

Methinks enough,
of you I have mired.
Change is tough, I am tired.
Farewell, Cauliflower Farewell.

Note: The author/poet insisted on a 10week cauliflower diet for reasons unfathomable. Probably the taste was appealing at the outset. Perhaps, he only knew 1 vegetable recipe. However, anything that becomes routine is bound to get old. The author has sowrn off cauliflowers temporarily and is now diverting his interests to a different vegetable.

Troubled young lady

2006-03-04T18:15:00.000-08:00

She had everything under control, she was young and brilliant. She had it all until one day, doubts were introduced to her mind. She was in tears and she said cia, I can't take this no more, questioned, scrutinized and abused. When did slavery make its comeback?

She tried to sleep and forget but she couldn't, she dreamt of the white supremacy with their whips going through her back. Her heart pounded like never before and she screamed in anger and frustration. The pain like someone took a jug of water and shoved it down her mouth , drowning and choking at the same time. Make it go away she screamed, make it stop. Not even with her eyes closed could she dream away peacefully.
The weight on her shoulders far heavier than its ever been but I guess she knows and the world knows that just like everything else, nothing is forever, she will one day forget the raw emotions and not surrender and compromise under the viscious rules set by the pretenders.

R u drugs?

2006-01-29T04:22:00.000-08:00

Having been in this stressful & demanding job, I've developed such big eye bags, dark ones!. The dermatologist that i go to had been trying to convince me to have it removed but I love it so much that my eyebags have become my facial legacy or should i say my signature look, it gives me that druggy look, "hey you wanna do drugs?".

Death Dreams

2006-01-28T19:16:00.000-08:00

I have this theory that when you dream of someone from your past that you haven't seen for the longest time that they probably dead. I've been dreaming about all this people I knew back when I was in Brunei, old people. I think its just weird that you all of the sudden dream about them.

Made me think what if I died, who will be the one to call up my Manager and my friends that I've passed away. Who's going to update the status report and send it to Diva M? What will happen to all my assets that I've acquired thus far? Who's going to finish my cereals?

At that point, when it happens, it will probably be the least of my concern so I guess you guys will have to remember that when you dream about me after not having seen me for 2 years, i'm probably in another place either bearing the burden of the final destiny or absorbing the unimaginable glorious feeling that we can never comprehend in this world.

Birthday Blues

2005-12-18T21:19:00.000-08:00

Soliloquy - 102

2005-10-02T05:01:00.000-07:00

Evil was in the form of a cruel temptress. She waltz into the arena and disturbed my peace. Don't say a word and everything will be alright was her motto. The power of beauty was in its classic vintage form and playing a familiar song.

Now, December is early and I feel the bitterness and coldness from within. I'm slowly being killed while i crave for temporary emotional stabilizers. I try to make sense of everything that has happened and it's obvious that things are what they are for what they are. Nothing more, nothing less. No need to complicate matters, i tell my hurting ego. But for some wicked idiotic reason, i am stucked.

What kind of a sick pitiful world do I live in? To hear those hurtful dreadful words through the voice of someone else and to leave me in a cliffhanger because the cowardness got the better of her. I guess not everyone is born with a conscience and not everyone is fortunate enough to be taught ethics 101 by their parents. For all the things i've lost, I know i still have karma on my side going around and just begging to come around.

Brazil Brazil and Prince in Action

2005-09-27T22:20:00.000-07:00

Here's another team building activity at brazil brazil and of course singing session at Frasers plus of course Oscar's going away party.

I wasn't able to eat much because i had a funny stomach sensational feeling, full of air/gas. Not too mention, i had buffet during breakfast, soy milk, pizza and a big lunch. However, I think i had too much to drink that night, i had a headache the day after.

I did sing Purple rain though :), vintage Me paying homage to the one and only true prince. I monopolize the singing but had to give up the microphone eventually. But i did hide the pencil people were looking for that night to write down the song numbers for the magic mic!. hahaha... i was very smooth in hiding it.

Rejected look aka Serial Killer look

2005-09-27T22:08:00.000-07:00

Here's me with my serial killer look or should i Say the look i had when i was rejected.... goes hand in hand with my Soliloquy - Rejected post:)

Rewards and Recognition Day

2005-09-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all my team mates for voting correctly... haha just kidding. :) But seriously, i appreciate the recognition from everyone. Who better to validate a job well done other than people I work with. Thanks again so much you guys, you are all my inspiration and motivation in coming in to work and handling day to day work pressure. Work wouldn't be any fun if you guys weren't here and i wouldn't trade you all for a million bucks!

Here's a picture from rewards and recognition day. (It's odd though coz I was the emcee then and i had to announce myself as a winner) :)

Soliloquy - Rejected.

2005-09-26T22:12:00.000-07:00

Its funny how one person stops giving you attention once they start getting what they want elsewhere. I looked, I saw and I was blinded, slow to solve the puzzle. Its the price i have to pay for exposing my innermost thoughts and vulnerabilities to someone who was a mystery from day one and who showed very little interest in what i had to tell the world.

Now that all is said and done, the cut is not as deep but it is certainly big, big enough to keep me from taking another path in the other direction on my own. I feel something inside me brewing and waiting to explode. How many drinks to forget? How many pills to accept? How many tears to sail me away? Free love for grabs, REJECTED!

-- ** criminalmonster

Chubby China

2005-09-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of the team having dinner at Chubby China to celebrate rewards and recognition day.
The shots are classic, I know one day when i'm very old, i'll look back at this picture and smile at the good ol days. Watch everyone listen to me as if i'm such a genius with interesting things to impart.

Kuwentong Opicina

2005-09-11T05:24:00.000-07:00

Etong kuwentong opicina ay tungkol sa isang babae na ang pangalan ay Rachelle Langbistida. Si Rachelle ay isang tao na talagang nagpapakatotoo sa pangalan nya sapagkat never sya nag bistida sa office. Pinanganak si Rachelle ng nakatawa at isa syang masayahin na bata na mahilig kumanta, magdasal at kumuha ng litrato pero ngayon dahil sa kaka OT na todo todo sa kanyang trabaho medyo naging salbahe na sya. Sya yung tipong, kapag na una sa elevator, pinipindot ka agad yung button na pangsarado at sabay tawa kahit meron pang taong naghahabol sumakay. Meron rin isang beses, nilagyan nya ng asukal yung la mesa ang kanyang bosing upang langgamin at kagatin yung iba't ibang parte ng katawan ng bosing nya bilang panggaganti. Wag na wag nyo gagalitin si Ms. Rachelle sapagkat, magbabayad kayo sa kanya sa iba't ibang paraan.

Nung isang linggo, narinig namin sinisigawan sya ng kanyang BOSING si Mildred Eskinita. Si mildred ay isang matandang dalaga na 40 years old na hindi nag aahit ng buhok sa kili kili at ng legs at tumtalsik ang laway Kapag sumisigaw. Sabi ni Mildred kay Rachelle, "BAKIT ANG TIGAS TIGAS NG ULO MO, SINABI KO NAMAN GUSTO KO LABING LIMANG KUTSARA NA ASUKAL SA AKING KAPE PERO SIGE KA PA RIN LABING APAT LANG ANG NILALALGAY MO!! ANO BA PROBLEMA? PANO KA MAPROPROMOTE NYAN? SIGE ALIS!". Nung umalis si Rachelle, nang gigigil sya sa galit kasi hindi lang sya nabasa sa laway ni Mildred kundi napupuno na rin sya dahil dinadamay sya ni MILDRED sa pagka miserable nya. Dahil na puno na si Rachelle, gumawa syang isang plano para maturuan ng leksyon si Mildred.

Gamit yung kanyang camera sa cellphone, kinunan nya ng litrato si Mildred habang nangungulangot. Walang ka malay malay si Mildred sa lahat ng pangyayari at si Rachelle super tawang tawa. Nung lunch break tinawag ni Rachelle ang iba nyang kaibigan para pakita yung litrato. Ang galing ng pagkakuha ng litrato, sanay na sanay si Rachelle, professional ang dating. Habang tawang tawa sila, hindi nila na pansin si mildred ay nagbabawas ng sama ng loob duon sa isang cube. At nung natapos si Mildred, lumabas sya pawis na pawis at sinita si Rachelle sa kanyang kalokohan. "ANO ANG MGA PINAGAGAWA MO? HA! SUSUMBONG KITA AT TATANGGALIN KITA SA TRABAHO!!!". Si Rachelle sa kanyang galit sinagot si Mildred, "KAYA PALA NAPAKA BAHO DITO. AT ANO NAMAN PAKI ILAM MO! AT BAKIT NAPAKA SUNGIT MONG TAO?". Duon bigla na lang umiyak si Mildred, para syang isang bata na nawalan ng candy umi iyak. Sabi nya kay Rachelle "DI MO LANG ALAM, KUNG PAANO YUNG BUHAY NA WALANG NAGMAMAHAL, WALANG KAIBIGAN, PATI MAGULANG KO AYAW SA AKIN?". Duon na awa si Rachelle at sabi nya kay Mildred, "WAG NA PO KAYONG UMIYAK, PASENSYA NA PO KAYO, HINDI KO NA PO UULITIN TOH! KASI NAMAN KAYO.... SIGE NA PO, FRIENDS NA TAYO, GIMIK PO TAYO NGAYON GABI PERO LIBRE NYO." Sa sobrang tuwa, niyakap ni Mildred si Rachelle at mukang silang BEST FRIEND in the making. Sana maging totoo..... Kung mababawi lang ni Rachelle ang pagbenta nya ng litrato ni MILDRED sa internet.

Boy Interrupted

2005-09-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

It was the summer of tragedy, i had just gotten up from bed, i put on my socks but i didn't have the strength that i needed to carry me outside. I was in a haze, drifting in my heavy dark world and i ignored the call of the world to come home to reality. I was carrying a weight far heavier than i ever have inside of me and dangerously going back and forth the thin line between the norm and sanity. Worse of all, i didn't want to be saved.

I was an absolute mess, I was at a lost, hanging on to something i didn't have and never had. The burden inside of me had become a ghost that haunted me. It was all too much for me to handle and i seeked refuge to sleeping. I slept so that i need not feel what i felt. I became just like the dead but i was still breathing. For me it was unimaginable how much one can have so much power on your well being. I was no longer the person I wanted to become and neither was I the person who believed.

** - criminal monster

Ang Matabang Babae

2005-09-03T05:35:00.000-07:00

This was something i wrote 6 years ago, based on a true story. Hope you enjoy reading it.
ANG MATABANG BABAE - *bow*

Pagsakay ko ng Jeep kaninang umaga, meron akong nakasabay na matabang babae. Ang katabaan nya ay katumbas ng dalawang baboy na pinagsama. Pero nakaka awa sya kasi pinagtitinginan sya ng mga tao at pinagtatawanan.

Sa totoo lang ayaw syang isakay nung driver ng Jeep kasi lugi sya duon. Pero wala magawa yung driver nung biglang sumakay ka agad yung matabang babae sa sandaling paghinto nung Jeep.

Sa pagsakay ng matabang babae, bigla niyang siningit ang malaking puwet nya. Dahil duon, na buwisit naman yung katabi nya at humirit ng, "Ang TABA TABA MO KASI! DAHIL SAYO ANG SIKIP SIKIP NA". Nainsulto yung matabang babae at muntik na nyang suntukin si ms. payatot pero sinagot na lang nya ng "WALANG HIYA KA KUNG HINDI MO IIWANSAN ANG PANANALITA MO, BAKA GAWIN KITANG LECHON KAWALI!". Sa takot nung payat na babae, tumahimik na lang sya.

Kala ko tapos na ang lahat pero hindi pa pala. Narinig nung driver yung mga pangyayari at sabi nya sa matabang babae,"PUWEDE BUMABA KA NA!, BAKA MASIRA MO PA ANG AKING GULONG. Hindi mo ba alam ang taba taba mo? buti nga sinakay kita pero ang yabang yabang mo. Mas maganda kung bumaba ka na lang!" Sa galit nung matabang babae sinabunotan nya si miss payatot.

Kahit na napahiya sya, hindi pa rin sya bumababa, dahil duon sabay sabay mga pasahero ng jeep nag sabing "BABA! BABA! BABA! BABA!", at yun bumaba na rin sa wakas at naka alis na kami. Nakaka awa syang umi iyak habang bumaba at masama ang loob ko sa pangyayari sa totoo lang. Pero habang kami ay palayo na ng palayo, biglang tigil ang iyak nung matabang babae nung paglingon sa amin sapagkat nakakita sya ng JOLLIBEE.!!

THE END

Food for the heart - #1

2005-08-31T06:05:00.000-07:00

These days, I truly have so much to be grateful for as my prayers have finally been answered. I have met someone who radiates beauty, portrays intelligence and poses sophistication like no other.

I am buried with so much joy that I cannot even begin to express and because of you, every night I write the happiest lines. You have brought out the best in me giving me that euphoric feeling and a smile stretch from ear to ear. You have become an absolute positive constant in my life.

With all these being said, I would just like to add that I hope to continue this journey with you for yours is the boat I wish to sail on forever. So come sail with me, why don’t you…

-- criminal monster

Food for the heart - #2

2005-08-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

Our night-outs just keep on getting better and better. Time alone with you is pure unadulterated one of a kind “HIGH”.

When we’re together, I always hope that it could be forever and a day because to be away from you would be a travesty to the bright lights that shine on us when we walk down the empty streets at night.

I remain perfectly in cloud nine and I can’t wait for what tomorrow has in store for us.

-- criminal monster

Soliloquy - No.1

2005-08-21T06:43:00.000-07:00

It is every man's prerogative to be loved, to be validated and to be accepted from the day he is born until the day he dies. The sad man goes in search of these but the happy ones goes to the less fortunate to offer these on a silver platter.

That is our mission in this life, to serve others as much as we serve ourselves. We have to give back to mother nature, be grateful with what we have and do away with our id. Now is our time to do generous deeds and inspire others. As when all is said and done, and our time has come, what will matter the most is how many lives we have touched. It is from here that humble beginnings becomes great endings and grows to a living legacy as the true soul of a man is seen when all his riches and personal satisfactions are stripped and exposed to vulnerability.

In the midst of this quest, it is important to recognize what it is to be a servant of God and that does not mean to donate our wealth but to give our hands to those who needs to be raised from their darkest hours.

** -- criminalmonster

My 8 Hours a day hang mates

2005-08-21T04:47:00.000-07:00

These are my team mates who I spend at least 8 hours a day of my life with and who I am forced (not in a bad way) to interact with. To protect their identity, I shall hide them under different names.
(From L to R) We have Caldrin Antos, Rosananah Masmacho, Mgr, Rhyan Mollesteros, Karen de Cristo, Oskie Nambata, Lalainita Tamaraw and Anonymous Ang

Kerwin Del Rosary, Paulino Patalo not present but you can see them in the pictures below.

CMM Celebration Saturday

2005-08-21T04:09:00.000-07:00

The past weekend was full of fun activities to celebrate our CMM achievements. We went wall climbing, had lunch in a japanese restaurant, watched a movie and played bowling. I sucked in bowling, i had the 2nd to the lowest score. Its funny coz i used to be a real good bowler but again i guess i've used up all my good bowler credits and now, I'm doomed to be a bad bowler for the rest of my life. However, i did climb the wall pretty well for a first timer, something to try again in the future, who knows, wall today, mount everest tomorrow.

Check out the team's picture above.

We had lunch at Haiku, japanese restaurant, Food was ok, i had my california maki.

Finally, movie was not that good, the crowd was also OA, mainly because of the numerous number of teenagers, screaming and making those horrible noise like they were about to get raped or something. Brings back those horrible teenage days.

As the day ended, i could wait just to be by myself. I had dinner at a chinese restaurant, I had my chinese mushroom rice topping with beancurd dimsum. I've forgotten how great it is to eat dinner in public alone, just me and my book, thats something to do for me next week, have lunch by myself.

Finger lickin' good

2005-07-31T05:28:00.000-07:00

Conversations over the radio have come along away and i thought i have heard everything possible but I was wrong. One night on my way home as i was riding the shuttle, the AM stations was turned on and there was DJ offering advice to callers. A lady caller had called in to ask, "Is fingering bad"? Talk about being direct. You'd think that was bad but what was even worse was when the radio DJ entertained the question.

The DJ said "Fingering is ok as long as your fingers are cleaned but not good if you want to remain a virgin because mentally you lose your virginity". What can I say, priceless advice, thought i'd share it here in my site.

Lady BG

2005-07-29T17:19:00.000-07:00

DEAD. FUNERAL NOT SCHEDULED!

3 months old, needs tender loving care. Sort of like my tamagochi!

"Friends in the past should stay in the past" -- criminalmonster

10 things that i hate

2005-07-24T02:36:00.000-07:00

(1) I hate people who lie to me.
(2) I hate people who are bad liars. (I remember lucy liu saying, the only thing worse than a liar is a bad liar)
(3) I hate it when people ask me if I work in a call center. Hell No! I don't work in a call center or as one of the taxi driver had asked me, "Do you work in a calling center?" Yeah calling center, what the hell is that?
(4) I hate family coming up to me and asking me for money. C'mon What the hell am I? an ATM Machine? Someone who has millions underneath my bed? If there is anything i've learned at this stage of my life is that, money and family don't mix.
(5) I hate people who are late. This is something that has gotten me into trouble several times, i'm the type of person who when i say we're leaving at 8am, i leave at 8am not 8:01am. And people has misterpreted that to be a negative trait of mine.
(6) I hate people who steal from me or use my stuff without letting me know! It depends though, if its paper i don't mind but if its something like underwear then its pretty serious. I have one big rule in my life, if you want my stuff, let me know about it, don't be all too proud to ask permission from me and take it without me knowing.
(7) I hate people who use public bathrooms and don't flush. I've actually seen toilets with shit on the toilet sit and in the toilet bowl. Talk about messing it up, Enough said.
(8) I hate eating pork. This is part of my oath to miss piggy not to eat her people. I love miss piggy.
(9) I hate people who take out all their insecurities on me. I've had friends who constantly picks on me in whatever way they can. Not cool!. Luckily for me i don't take crap anymore these days. Also i met a lot of this kind in school and my first job, very pretentious people trying to be cool.
(10) Finally final thing i hate is losing tennis matches. Still kills me these days to lose tennis matches.

My friday the 13th - Saturday 23rd

2005-07-24T02:19:00.000-07:00

I've never been superstitious and I was never really sure what a bad day meant til yesterday. I could swear that forces of nature were completely against me. The day began with every bit of good intention, i had planned to eat a full breakfast before going to get a haircut and get my car washed but things didn't go according to plan. For some weird reason yesterday, our driveway was packed with drums of water and clothings for drying which left me little space to bring the car out and unfortunately for me, i scraped my car, passenger side big time. I was so pissed big time, i had never had an accident on highways, roads and here i was an accident with our own gate.

After getting my haircut and car washed, i was able to calm myself down a little bit more and i decided to play tennis. I was feeling physically fit and i felt real healthy ready to do battle but 10 mins into warm up, there goes my tennis racquet. Boo-hoo.! But that didn't bother me all that much.

So late in the afternoon i was on my way to makati and during my drive my friend which i will hide under the name Bryan Cia called me up and there we were conversing on the phone when all of a sudden a police officer pulled me over. He had accused me of talking on the cellphone while driving, i immediately put down the phone without saying good bye. Just to make things go quickly (i was running late), i decided to give in to his request and pay him off.

I couldn't be anymore happier that the day has passed but the next saturday the 23rd is a day i will have to be more cautious of.

Books and CDs

2005-07-24T02:09:00.000-07:00

Well it's official, my Annie Lennox, Medusa CD which i bought from Yaohan Brunei in 1995 is definitely gone into oblivion. It was one of my favorite CDs, it had this song that i really like called something so right.

It had lyrics that went , "There is a wall in china and its a thousand miles long, to keep all the foreigners that made it strong, and i've got a wall around me that you can't even see, took a little time but you found me know." and "Some people never say the words i love you, it's not my style to be so bold, some people never say the words i love you but like a child i'm longing to be told."

I guess i'll have to get myself a new one.

Now on to books, i found it very remarkable that for someone like who does not like reading found time to finish two books in a period of a week. I read The "alchemist" and "A boy called it" in record time.

Inspiring Statements

2005-06-27T22:36:00.000-07:00

"Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never letme down, and it has made all the difference in my life." -- steve job

"I was so happy walking with her that I felt I was about to burst into small red heart shaped balloons and fly into the heavens." -- criminal monster

Living Strong

2005-05-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

Someone said that life is a journey that we embark on, when one door closes another one opens up for us. Well today the door to workaholism and overtime had been officially closed as i have been told not to do anymore overtime and so today i found myself opening the doors to domestic chores or should i say the door to my and brother's bathroom among others (i can just hear the background music from psycho, as this was task of all tasks). Just to let everyone know, the bathroom hasn't been cleaned for 2 weeks and since then it had been used by my uncle who was in town from U.S. , my younger brother and my personally disowned brother and his family who had stayed with us for 5 days within those 2 weeks period.

So without further ado, let the task begin, (you can just imagine how excited i am)! After an hour of scrubbing and more scrubbing i was finally done. I had seen more pubic hairs and touched more crap of saliva and dead skin than i will ever for the next 2 years of my life. I was horrified, at times mystified, trying to figure out whose pubic hair was clinging onto my hands and also deeply pleased to have not dropped the sponge right in the toilet bowl this time around. But there were also times where in I felt self-sympathy for myself, i mean c'mon, I'm a Team Lead in the workplace who everyday tries to set that image for my team, strong, good, respectable leader and here i was, on my knees in the most solemn and sacred room of the house, picking up the pieces. But when all was done, i was proud of myself, i had turned our bathroom sparklingly clean, i had washed all my clothes, ironed them. I had cooked 5 star meals for my family and cleaned our kitchen and my room. I had gone where only a few men have ever gone in their lives, the epitome of cleaning wastes and shit.

As i took a look at my right wristband "live strong" (Lance Armstrong bracelet), i thought to myself, i guess this is living it strong. After a month of stressful in takes from my job and my every day life, i realised that through out the entire cleaning experience not only was i cleaning out the physical presence of dirt but also i was washing down the pain and hardship of my everyday living, pouring it down the drain and giving me that sense of control of my life. Living it strong for me is probably not just carrying out the difficult tasks that you are willing to do but doing the tasks that you are not accustomed to:-> stepping out doing the dirty job.

Killer State of Mind - Part 1

2005-05-04T04:09:00.000-07:00

All you better start to run
Coz here I am with my Gun
All you better come undone
Coz its time to say bye to the Sun

I'm the one real thing here
who is genuinely sincere
Unlike those cracked up peers
who i hate after drinking too much beers

So try, cry, shout and scream
I ain't giving you no ice cream
No point waking up
Coz this ain't no dream

-- criminalmonster

Fallen Youth

2004-12-01T06:02:00.000-08:00

First come dating
Then comes touching
Without both resisting
ends up with 2 cheap rings

Wrong turn on the round about
Parents in their minds with no doubts

Although they have wronged their fathers
They still do no admit their worse
They still insist of their love
Just like 2 white doves
But once their marriages stops to sing
No more love will they bring

Then comes the suffering of their kids
Who were once their joyful seeds

No longer now is there peace
As it has now been seize
Forever and ever it shall be missed
Until the day they deceased.

-- CriminalMonster

The Empty Feeling

2004-07-13T03:56:00.000-07:00

My day started with me feeling a little empty on the inside, i wasn't sure if it was because of the lack of sleep or just simply empty. Well, most people would know what i mean, ya know when you feel like something is lacking from your life. Took me a while to figure out what it was i was feeling empty about but i realised that i just simply forgot to wear my brief before coming to work.

Having realised that, my mood lightened up abit and on my way to work while riding public transportation (a van), i was seated right next to a fat lady, she managed to squeezed herself right in between me and another slightly overweight person (Way to go fat lady!). But this wasnt a COOL fat lady, she kept on whining how crowded it was and how hot it was, oh man!, don't she realised that she's feeling hot because of all that fats around her body? I know I'm sounding mean and all but hey she feels crowded?? Her ass is 3 1/2 times bigger than mine. Well having that encounter with her made me ponder whether or not she was ever skinny in her life and if she was one of those people who were empty on the inside. The kind who ate because they felt empty and felt empty because they ate.

So on my way to work, I got to my building and one of the things that annoys me are people who would use the elevator to go up 2nd floor when 2nd floor is just a few steps away. C'mon guys!! Well, one thing is for sure, ain't nothing empty about those tummies.

Well, my gas is empty so thats it for today's blog.

First Time

2004-07-12T01:18:00.000-07:00

Sharing my life experiences on the web, kinda bold for a very private person. I think its cool though coz just in case something happens to me in the future, someone can always read about my life and the people that revolves around my life.